Christian Marriage and Limited Atonement: Inseperable

To some this is going to seem like a note containing two very different topics; however, the Scriptures unify the two concepts of Gender Distinction “complementary roles,” and the Reformed Doctrine of Limited Atonement “a.k.a Victorious Atonement.” In fact, on this note I am going to argue the inseparability of the two. This type of argumentation is very systematic and in fact R.C Sproul would argue, that that is the point of systematic theology, to unify doctrines into a net “so-to-speak” of interconnected concepts that are inseparably bound to one another and traceable back to God and His sovereignty.
To begin this off I am going to argue a couple of basic premises:

1. Complimentary gender distinction is overwhelming supported in Scripture with countless passages, and such a distinction in roles is made clear as to being vital to all areas of life not limited to marriage. In fact everything from household functions to worship to Church leadership to civil government are touched by a complimentary and therefore Biblical view of gender roles.
It is important to keep in mind that Complimentary Roles do not argue the personal inequality of individuals, to hold such a view would be to misrepresent the Scriptures and the position I am arguing. To the Secular world, ‘Complimentarianism seems like a Christian way to say “sexism,” (quote by Chatti Frear) but of course such a view is one that is based on an enlightenment view of individual equality or egalatarianism which is a very erroneous and incompatible with the Christian view. Essentially the Christian view is that, “Men and Women are Equal in spiritual and personal significance, but different in function in all areas of life.” How can I say that men and women are equal if I am a complimentarian?

“Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Gal 3:29 And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise.”

Some attempt to argue that these doctrines are only culturally significant and not authoritative today. Of course these views are easily refuted from both the Creational reasoning Paul uses in his arguments, and by both psychological and biological proofs, but for Christians specifically the section of Scripture I am going to cover is going to make complimentary roles, at least In marriage, unquestionable.

2. Limited Atonement is the ‘L’ in TULIP and this view of the Atonement is very controversial amongst Christians today. Limited Atonement or Victorious Atonement (as I like to call it) is the idea that when Christ died on the Cross he secured Salvation for those predestined before the foundations of the world, better known as the true Israel of God or the invisible Church. Some of those opposed to Limited Atonement like to sight passages that refer to the general world or were used to indicate that salvation has come to ‘all the world’ meaning no prejudice or limitation to its reach in regards to type of peoples or land masses in which they dwell. The differing views of the atonement essentially come down to two illustrative examples used by Loraine Boettner:

For the Calvinist the Atonement, “is like a narrow bridge which goes all the way across the stream; for the arminian it is like a great wide bridge that goes only half way across.”

The Reformed view is that the Atonement is limited in that It secured the salvation for certain sinners whereas, the Arminian view argues that the atonement only made possible the salvation for all men. Wonder which one is Biblical?

“Mat 1:21 She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins."

Hmmm, but if that is not enough, than you should read the rest of my note for I feel this passage is one of the finest cases for Victorious Atonement.

In this Section of Scripture it is plain to see that Paul intimately links the Atoning work of Christ to Christian Marital roles, read carefully.

Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
Eph 5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Eph 5:26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
Eph 5:27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Eph 5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
Eph 5:30 because we are members of his body.
Eph 5:31 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
Eph 5:32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
Eph 5:33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Paul’s argumentation is profoundly and entirely rooted in the Atonement. Paul here uses Victorious Atonement as the Theological foundation for Christian Marriage and the distinctive roles therein.

Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
Eph 5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

The First part is addressed to Wives. Submission is to be her role, which in the Greek portrays the idea of obedience and rank, “put under obedience.” This concept is directly connected to the Atonement, so lets think about the Church’s submission to Christ shall we?

Eph 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,
Eph 2:9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

This goes back to our predestination, we have been “created in Christ Jesus for good works.” those who have been Justified by Grace through Faith are now being made obedient by the work of the Holy Spirit. We are obeying his law and submitting to His authority doing good works that are pleasing to him because of the work he has done in us, those whom he has saved.
Back to the practical side, For the Wives of Christian Men, they must realize that just as they and the whole of God’s chosen are obedient to Christ they personally must be obedient and submissive unto their own husbands. Of course this is not easy, this too is a parallel to the Church.

“Rom 7:14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin.
Rom 7:15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
Rom 7:16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.
Rom 7:17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
Rom 7:18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.
Rom 7:19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
Rom 7:20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
Rom 7:21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.
Rom 7:22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being,
Rom 7:23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.
Rom 7:24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?
Rom 7:25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.”

Sin dwells in a man yet though he is being sanctified the curse is still in his flesh causing distress and tension against the law and Grace of God. This is no different than the curse set upon a woman in Genesis:

Gen 3:16 To the woman he said, "I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you."

All Wives will struggle to be obedient and submissive to their husbands, but that is equally reflective of the Church unto Christ. We are being sanctified by the work of God yet we still being of the flesh are weak and both sin and rebel against God though we are declared righteous by Him; however, the Holy spirit convicts us to obey God and we are progressively becoming more holy and set-apart. We obey and serve God out of love because he first loved us, so too wives ought to love their husbands based not only on their husbands love for them, but also in remembrance of this Scriptural command and its relation to the love of Christ FOR His Bride the Church on the Cross of Calvary.

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Eph 5:26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
Eph 5:27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

The Second part is addressed to Husbands, Love is idea here and is directly reflective of Christ’s atoning work once again. (let me address husbands as we since I am one) We husbands are to reflect the work of Christ in our own marriage. This is quite a duty if one were to contemplate it. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the Church, Christ died and atoned for the sins OF THE CHURCH! This becomes a fidelity issue as well, if unlimited atonement were true than we would have to love all women as we love our wife and give ourselves for whoever would have us. Sounds more like an adulterers version of the atonement. Christ gave himself for the Church and secured Salvation for the true Israel of God, the Invisible Church, the Bride of Christ.
We Husbands by loving our wives sacrificially are in essence making our wives “holy” setting her apart from other women as Christ has set us apart from the unregenerate heathen of this world. Our love is one that is to the death and one that is totally sacrificial keeping in mind the work of God on the Cross. No matter the faults of our wives or how unfaithful they may be, we should not forsake them and keep in mind the work of Christ in our own lives despite the fact we remain unfaithful to our own master in our sins. Lets look how God illustrated this love to Hosea:

Hos 3:1 And the LORD said to me, "Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, even as the LORD loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins."
Hos 3:2 So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a lethech of barley.
Hos 3:3 And I said to her, "You must dwell as mine for many days. You shall not play the whore, or belong to another man; so will I also be to you."
Hos 3:4 For the children of Israel shall dwell many days without king or prince, without sacrifice or pillar, without ephod or household gods.
Hos 3:5 Afterward the children of Israel shall return and seek the LORD their God, and David their king, and they shall come in fear to the LORD and to his goodness in the latter days.

Lets look again to the focus of our study here:

Eph 5:28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Eph 5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
Eph 5:30 because we are members of his body

This also is tied into a proper understanding of God’s motive in the Atonement and the salvation of sinners, “if we remain consistent in our interpretation,” lets remember the Five Solas of Protestantism:

We are Saved:
By Grace Alone
Through Faith Alone
In Christ Alone
According to Scripture Alone to
THE GLORY OF GOD ALONE!!

The all caps is my emphasis on this point. Christ died for the Church and secured its salvation to the Glory of God alone. Himself! God loves himself therefore Christ loves himself and this is reflective of his love for the Church. Christ died and loves the Church because he first loved Himself as God glorified in eternity.

Eph 5:31 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
Eph 5:32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
Eph 5:33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ah, this is Paul’s conclusion to the topic, he refers back to Creation with his quote of Genesis in verse 31, and then says IT REFERS TO CHRIST AND THE CHURCH!! In this saying it was equally indicative of God’s love for us as it is our love for each other. Then verse 33 sums it up in a conclusive practical application!

Paul makes clear that the Atonement is intimately tied with the idea of Christian Marriage because Christ’s relationship to the Church is just that, a marriage. Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection is the bar set for the love of a husband to his wife, and the submission to Christ by those who are truly His “the Church” is the standard for Christian Wives.

If you deny Complimentary Roles in Marriage you deny in words Christ’s atonement, and if you deny Limited Atonement you make adultery acceptable and practically nullify the institution of marriage!

Think that’s a stretch? It most certainly is not! Christ’s Atonement and the dynamics of Christian Marriage are interwoven concepts. Keep this in mind brothers and sisters in Christ!!